Prince Charming is Dead

Someone posted a meme that was so full of things that I wanted to reply to, I gave up trying to write a comment and just took up the meme.  Several of these answers will be a bit enigmatic to anyone who isn’t “in” my life.

I am: tired of fighting the war, but FAR too stubborn to surrender.
I think: before I leap.  Or after I jump.  Or not at all.  It all depends.
I know: way more than will ever be useful, and never what I need at the time.
I have: my reasons why.
I wish: myself out of these woods, and into a picture with you.
I hate: nothing and no one.  Hate is the weapon that harms the slayer as much as the slain.
I miss: someone I have never seen or touched with the whole of my being.
I fear: that I will die before I have told my stories, sung my songs or painted my visions.  I have always felt the reaper’s breath on the back of my neck.
I hear: the voices in my head louder than the voice of reason.
I smell: the sand in my shoes and the surf that left it there.
I crave: harmony and peace.  Apparently we always want what we can’t have.
I search: every hour of every day for the heart that can accept me as I am.
I wonder: at the miracle of love in all it’s forms.
I regret: more than I can ever say, yet nothing that I can ever change.
I love: my daughter, my family, and my heart’s dearest wish.
I ache: for a touch I have never felt, and a kiss I’ve never known.
I am not: able to get much sleep.  Insomnia has been a curse for several years now.
I believe: that the best really just might be yet to come.
I dance: better than my Adventist upbringing would suggest.
I sing: in the shower, the car, and with other people.  I do NOT sing karaoke solo.
I cry: quietly and to myself.  I have only cried openly twice since the evening my son died.  Both times were during my divorce.
I fight: the urge to pack up a few essential things and just disappear into some third-world country.
I win: at carnival games.  It’s just some freakish and useless talent I have.
I lose: my keys when I really REALLY need them, which is ALSO a useless talent.
I never: expected life to turn out like this.
I always: thought being an adult would be easier and more fun.
I confuse: anyone I try to explain my labyrinthine personal life to.
I listen: to my iPod (16GB Touch) waaaaaaay too much.
I can usually be found: taking the long way home.
I am scared: that no matter how hard I believe, I just might be wrong.
I need: very little to be happy.  I’m hoping I’ve found her.
I am happy about: more than I’m unhappy about.  That’s pretty much the best we can hope for, isn’t it?
I imagine: stories in my head ALL THE TIME.  Seriously, ALL THE TIME.