Help me blog-o-sphere…you’re my only hope!
I need some advice. Let me paint the background of my day a little clearer: I’m having one of “those” days. I love my job, I love the place I work, I love the people I work with. I don’t love not bringing my lunch on the last day before payday. I’m broke, and I can’t just run to Chili’s or Stanford’s and grab lunch. Hell, I don’t even think I can afford Taco Bell after buying gas last night.
So I’ve got twelve minutes until a customer conference call which is my first time “flying solo” and while I’m comfortable with it…it’s just a bit nervous for me. I spent three minutes gathering up all the change I can find in my jacket, desk and pockets and walk to the break room with exactly the sixty-five cents I need to buy a Snickers bar. Sadly, I press “C3″ instead of “C4″ and end up with a tiny bag of M&Ms. Not even Peanut M&Ms, just the puny little regular ol’ M&Ms.
Walking away frustrated I forget to grab a Dr. Pepper, so I turn around half way to my desk and walk back into the break room. As I walk up to the pop machine a co-worker steps up to make her selection. I step back so as to not “crowd” and give her enough room to bend down and retrieve her can of carbonated-caffeinated-liquid-sugary-goodness without having to put her face directly next to my crotch.
As she stands upright I realize it’s Ms. C…now, I’m smart enough to know that you shouldn’t “shit where you live” and I wouldn’t date a co-worker…but if she left the company she’d be pretty much at the top of the list of people I’d like to take out for dinner and drinks.
Sadly, I’m pretty sure I just ruined ANY chance of that. EVER.
As she rights herself, she makes a small joke about Diet Dr. Pepper and I notice her necklace matches the color of her eyes. I chuckle softly and make some lame response as she walks away. To make it worse, I realize that I never once made eye contact with her. Not at all.
I am now the creepy guy who stares at a woman’s chest when he talks to her. WHICH IS SO NOT ME! I Swear!
I’d really like to rescue myself from my own boorish behavior, but does it make it better if I walk up later and engage her in conversation while ONLY making eye contact? Or does that just make me creepy over-intense guy?
I work with this person and respect her; and frankly, being discussed in the lady’s room as “that jerk who never looks up during a conversation” isn’t really something that I EVER want.
So, I ask you, oh great blog-o-sphere, what should I do? I don’t think a direct apology is in line, “sorry for staring at your chest in the break room” seems more likely to be actionable than helpful.
This is NOT what I wanted to be thinking about before a client call…*slaps forehead*…D’oh!
Saint | 29-May-08 at 2:37 pm | Permalink
If you can run into her again soon, tell her “That is a very pretty necklace; I noticed it earlier in the breakroom and meant to tell you.” You work in the compliment while telling her that you weren’t staring at her chest without actually having to say it. Good luck!!!
Pammy Girl | 29-May-08 at 6:32 pm | Permalink
I love it, just love it! I am the woman who gets men trapped in my boob zone and it’s the worst. Thanks to this post, I’m realizing that maybe it’s not intentional and not all men are huge pervs.
Don’t go out of your way to track her down, just to give her a compliment… she’ll think you’re THAT GUY. Make sure she sees you engaged in a conversation with someone else and THEN saunter (yes, saunter) over to her and say something witty but do NOT talk to her boobs. Make your comment short and sweet and then exit. Say hello to her and make eye contact next time you see her. Always and always make eye contact. Once you move past the awkward co-worker stage and then out of the Friend Zone and into a dating situation, it’s possible that you could make a few unnoticed glances down south but we’re pretty perceptive so that’s highly unlikely.
Have fun with that.
cowgalutah | 29-May-08 at 9:36 pm | Permalink
Ya…good luck with that!
No, I really wish ya the best of luck. The only thing harder (no pun intended) is telling some one their fly is down.
I’m just visiting from 2 Lazy Dogs place I saw a comment and had to follow the interesting name. Great writing style…I’ll be back to read more someday!
dontdatethatdude | 30-May-08 at 3:55 am | Permalink
You’ve gotten yourself into quite the predicament haven’t you? But it looks like Pammy has filled you in on the best possible recovery so I don’t need to say more! I wanted to stop in and say Hello and Thank you for the deadcharming comment you left on my! :)
pseudonymblog | 30-May-08 at 5:13 am | Permalink
I agree with Saint on the above comment…but also, wanted to reassure you, women don’t normally discuss that kind of thing in the ladies room…in the break room maybe…just kidding…seriously, though, next time you see her just make sure your eyes stay up.
hollihawk | 30-May-08 at 11:29 am | Permalink
I agree with Saint as well. It really is a two birds with one stone scenario if you toss out a compliment on jewelry while simultaneously explaining my your eyes were there.
Amy | 30-May-08 at 9:42 pm | Permalink
i would suggest not doing anything at all that you plan ahead. it will just make you more nervous and you will seem unnatural. i’ve never had a straight man compliment my jewelry. act like nothing happened, she might not have even thought twice about it.
come to think of it, she was probably feeling silly too for making small talk about diet dr. pepper…
bluesuit12 | 04-Jun-08 at 12:55 pm | Permalink
Oh my gosh this was awsome! I was just having a sort of similar converstation with my roommate lastnight about GP (the guy I wrote about in my church menu blog who is gorgeous). Yesterday I was coming out of our complex gym at the same time he was driving toward me on his way home. Do you think I could even look at him? Nope, not even through a car window. And forget the simple gesture of a wave. I totally panicked and fiddled with my ipod instead!!??!! I’m not so delusional that I think he would fall madly in love with me but I would prefer he didn’t think of me as that wierd, unfriendly, snob with potential goth/emo “I hate the world” tendencies girl. Sheesh. Sorry, I have no advice for you but if you figure something out PLEASE let me know LOL!!
Taoist Biker | 10-Jun-08 at 1:03 pm | Permalink
Well, I’m QUITE too late to weigh in usefully, but I would have gone the full-geek confession way. I’d have sought her out and said, “HOLY CRAP I just realized that when I was looking at your necklace you probably thought I was staring at your chest, and I am positively MORTIFIED that you might think that about me.”
Well, I’d like to think I would do that, but in all likelihood I would have avoided her for, oh, the rest of my life. I’m a wuss.